Can’t Keep Up

Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes.  –Walt Whitman

Two revise and resubmits, my dissertation, work (two summer courses + administrative work), two kids, exchange student who will be here Saturday, one husband, house hunting, autoimmune diseases including multiple sclerosis (ms–doesn’t deserve capital letters), lupus, polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos), Hashimoto’s disease, and alopecia.  Oh, and there’s the issue with the hate speech student that I can’t really put here since I’m all up in that at the moment trying to quell an issue that I fear will lead to student violence.

When I put it all down there, it’s no wonder I feel like I’m dragging ass.  That’s a lot of tough shit.  And I’m in the middle of an ms flare up that began with migraines and headaches and is now just bone-tired fatigue.  I have four summer classes to go, then two weeks “off” (not really because I have work I have to do not including prep that also has to be done then), and then fall semester is in full swing.  I just transitioned to a vegan diet after a few years omni (following ankle replacement–allograft–for which doctors told me to eat meat for the bone healing then told me to continue because of vitamin deficiencies that weren’t there when I didn’t eat meat; I should have listened to my body). After only a few weeks completely vegan, my hormones are returning to normal levels, my hair is growing rapidly and growing back (!!!), the bags under my eyes are gone even if I am ridiculously tired, and I’m being told daily that I look “so healthy.”  I don’t know if that’s code for fat or just people saying they can see a difference they can’t name.

Lately I have so many things I want to write to the universe, and I keep telling myself they don’t belong on my professional blog.  This morning I realized, “Hey! I do have a personal blog…”  So here I am.  Writing.  Getting the frustration out. I think I’ll visit here more often.


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